Who would make the ideal video game life companion? In a vast multiverse of beautiful digital and hand drawn marvels, how could the human imagination even decide among such a selection of near perfect fiction? The truth is they aren’t perfect. Not in looks or personality, because perfection is subjective. Yet we all share a rather common mentality on what we perceive to be a good spouse.
Candidate (A)
You’re at your local movie rental store. At first you might not even notice the cute girl in the aisle next to you, browsing the wall’s oldies with similar intensity. You come upon a favorite of yours; only one copy as usual. In your mind you know you’ve seen this movie a hundred times and can rehash all the lines scene by scene. The girl stops in front of you, focusing on the movie in your hands. “Are you really going to rent that?” She asks. You don’t know what to think. Is she going to ridicule you for your choice? What is she even doing in this aisle?! Maybe you can put it down and just say you were reading the back. Before you can answer she continues. “I wanted that movie. Why don’t you get one of the new Hollywood blow em ups? You know, with Michael Bay or someone directing it. They have like, 20 copies of each.”
You reply simply. “Because this one’s the best.” The girl can’t help but smile and introduce herself: “Hey, I’m Zoey” she says cheerfully.
Zoey is not the type who’s in the horror section to get a cheap scare with her girlfriends during a sleep over. She watches, learns and appreciates the movie as if it were a historical reenactment. As you stand there trading knowledge of classics you’ve seen and recommending ones the other hasn’t, you realize you are talking to your equal (if not your superior) in a realm you thought none but your best of friends treaded.
Zoey’s someone you’d like to hang out with before the zombies begin to run amok and even more so after. Anyone who uses lines from Aliens, Shaun of the Dead and other awesome movies to overcome the horrors around them simply has to be fun to have around. But why would she make a good wife and not someone you just hang out with? Zoey is a great friend and therefore a great life companion. Romantically speaking you can picture Zoey to be the type that would consider grabbing a movie you’ve both seen together a hundred times off the shelf and cuddling up to watch to be the best night “out”.
As far as looks are concerned, Zoey’s a definite girl-next-door cutey! While the pic above may not do her justice, with the blood and bruises and all. We can only imagine how she would look all dressed-up instead of covered in blood and bruises after weeks of running for her life! The minute she starts talking, can’t help but find her to be amazing. Who wouldn’t want to marry amazing?
Also, if you were ever to be caught in a zombie apocalypse you’ll at least be rest assured that your loved one would survive, even if you should not.
Zoey has no distinct powers, but she does have an extremely strong will to live and is immune to being zombified.
Pros:
- Cute, girl next door looks
- Laid back and easy to get along with
- Knowledge of the occult and movies, which makes for interesting conversation
- Strong will to live – no matter the situation
- Reliable and trust worthy
- Survival rate in a zombie apocalypse is dramatically increased
- Good team work skills and gets along with a wide variety of people
- Comes from a wealthy family
- Should be easy to shop for
- Immune to being zombified
Cons:
- She might be too much like one of the guys
- Should a zombie apocalypse not happen, her career might be in question
- Keeps a low social profile, even if it means isolation
- Prone to suffer from Post Traumatic Stress (but really, who wouldn’t?)
- Won’t catch her wearing a dress any time soon, but maybe cosplay?
Candidate (B)
You walk into a dimly lit Manhattan lounge. There is a woman sitting at the bar. Her pale skin almost shines in contrast to the elegant black dress wrapped around her frame. You cannot see her face but you know she’s stunning. You feel it even before you see it. No one is near her, not even the bartender. Maybe no one is brave enough to be. But you are. It is unclear whether it was courage or foolishness that led you to approach her.
You take the stool next to hers and, even though she doesn’t look directly at you, you know she acknowledges your presence. You tell yourself you’ll just take a peek at her face and you quickly do – beautiful and exotic. At first you would have thought she was Caucasian with the platinum blonde hair and greenish blue eyes, but she also shows a hint of Asian. Without turning to look at you she bluntly asks, “Are you going to keep staring at me or are you going to ask for my name?” You didn’t even realize how long you’ve been staring at her. It was like time flew the instant your eyes fell victim to her. You manage to ask for her name. She finishes her drink, placing it on the bar before extending her hand out to you. “Aya. And you are?” At this point she has already determined one of your qualities; your bravery.
Aya Brea – Parasite Eve Series
Aya is the type of girl you’d see stroll by and cause you to walk into traffic, but it’d be a small price to pay to be around this sensuous beauty. I can’t imagine the attention she’d receive in our New York police force. Aya in her uniform would produce more recruits than a million dollars worth of advertisement. But don’t let her delicate features fool you– she could kick your ass and put you in handcuffs before you even had time to realize that she’s a cop. Hmm.. handcuffs.
Aya’s idea of a romantic evening would probably consist of something she could dress up for;;dining in a fine restaurant or a visit to an amphitheater, catching an opera or play (though because of her police day job, I’m sure she’d be fine with grabbing a beer at the local bar as well.) She’s not all about glamour and finer things in life, though, she’s just a woman who knows what she wants and how to spend her free time.
Gorgeous, intelligent, athletic, brave, selfless.. The list goes on and on! Being around Aya you can feel that she is a strong and capable woman, worth all the respect you can offer her.
Aya has mitochondrial manipulation powers ranging from combustion to transformation. Even without using these powers she is exceptional skilled in firearms and has extensive training in law enforcement, using her intelligence, resourcefulness and physical feats to best opponents stronger than herself. While her powers are useful, she yearns to live a normal life and tries to use them as sparingly as possible.
Pros:
- Has an exotic look, due to her mixed heritage
- Always appears to be in her twenties
- Never gets sick
- Classy and mature
- Very trendy and fashionable, looks great in just about anything and can fight in it too!
- Has handcuffs and knows how to use ‘em
- Knows how to handle herself in almost any situation
- The best legs, period
- Has mitochondrial powers
Cons:
- Has difficulties living with the fact that she doesn’t age like others (is that a bad thing?)
- Mitochondrial powers, while useful, can also be downright scary
- Will be hard to have a normal life because of her powers
- Is prone to missions by the government due to her status
- Her sister Eve will probably have to live with you, but she’s a sweetheart
- Secrets? Yeah right. She’s a detective after all
Candidate (C)
You’re at an island off the coast of Thailand on an outdoor bar admiring the view of the vast ocean and white sand beach. The bartender fetches you a drink. He notices you’re new to the establishment and offers to tell you what the island before it became a tourist attraction and all the fancy resorts attracted pirates to its shores. It served as their hideout for many years. They hoarded treasures from all over Asia and kept here, on this very island, hidden underground. You might very well be standing on their treasure. On one of their exploits, the pirates came upon a hidden temple. Within the temple they found a golden mask, encrusted with magnificent gems. The monks of the temple warned the pirates not to take it, saying it would bring great evil upon all those who touch it – an evil that caused men to become consumed with uncontrollable violence. The pirates didn’t heed the warning and took it with them, never to be heard from again. After some time, people came to the island looking to make it a resort spot. They surveyed the island and found a series of underground tunnels. A group of surveyors ventured in. After being gone for many hours, one returned – bloodied and driven mad. Everyone thought he murdered the others. They had him admitted to a mental institution, closed off the entrance to the tunnels and went on with the construction on the island. The bartender gets close and says softly, as though he did not want others to hear, that some tourists found the entrance and went missing…
There is a moment of pause as the bartender finishes his story. He looks to the person next to you, smiling and offers her a drink. You didn’t even notice anyone sitting down next to you. “Now that was a story.” She says with a hint of excitement. You can’t help but ask her if she actually believed in it. “But I do!” She says. “And here I thought I’d be bored and resting quietly on this beach, but after that story.. I have to find out.” “What are you, a reporter?” You ask. To your surprise, she is. “How would you like to come with me? I could use someone to help me with the equipment. Imagine the headline for it.” At this point she’s not even looking at you as she’s speaking, simply entranced in her vision of the big scoop she’s about to get. “Two missing treasure-hunting tourists?” you say sarcastically. The remark causes her to glare at you. “What, are you scared? A minute ago you said you didn’t even believe in it.” Defeated, you agree to help. She gives you her card and tells you to meet here at 5am before making a call and walking away from you without even looking back. The last thing you heard her say on the phone was “You’re not going to beeelieve the story I’m about to cover.” You decide to attend to your drink.. and probably going to need a few more. Realizing you didn’t even introduce yourself, you look at her card. It reads, Elena Fisher.
Elena Fisher – Uncharted Series
Could you think of a cooler girl to hang out with? When “fun” comes to mind it’s not just a matter of what you do, but who you’re with. Elena is the definition of a fun person and that means you’ll always want her around. Whether it be going to hang out at a bar for a few drinks, scuba diving off some uninhabited island, or home cleaning up the house. Elena can make it enjoyable. Not to mention she’s a clever, sensible and extremely knowledgeable individual.. Her wit, sarcasm, and humor will always bring a smile to your face and keep you on your toes. She’s like your modern day adventurer who’s not afraid to get dirty. Which is fine, cause she still looks great with a little mud on her. If she doesn’t charm you with her natural good looks, she’ll get you with her awesome personality.
Just because she’s fun loving doesn’t mean she can’t be serious. She knows the severity of the situations she’s in and logically thinks them through. She’ll not only stay by your side when the going gets tough, but her optimism will pick you up when you’re flat on the ground. Having worked as a producer, camerawoman and host of her own show with a very tight budget has tempered her to be a capable and resourceful woman.
This girl’s so full of life that it’ll probably tack a few extra years on to yours just because you’re with her.
Pros:
- She’s quite the natural beauty
- Fun loving attitude makes her the ideal company to be around
- Outgoing and active, you’ll be in shape for the rest of your life!
- Ever want to go to Tibet? Good, cause she can speak Tibetan fluently
- Doesn’t mind traveling and would definitely prefer it
- Compassionate and strong willed
- Always looking to get the truth and doing the right thing
- She’s hilarious
Cons:
- Doesn’t know when to quit and sometimes too persistent
- Can be very stubborn and aggressive on her ideals
- Her career will take her places. Often dangerous places L
- May not be settling down for some time – or ever
- Being a reporter means she can dig up dirt on ya – if you think you don’t, she’ll find something
I would like to note that the reason why Jill did not make the list is because while she shares strong similarities to my other choice, Aya, Jill is very well known in the gaming community, while Aya.. not so much – but should be! When I saw the magazine featuring a grave with Jill’s name on it prior to the release of RE5, I thought to myself that Capcom would never do such a thing and if they did, the gaming world would have lost one of their female deities.
Pros:
- Looks great as a blond or brunette and with short or long hair
- Can pull off a beret look
- Modeled after Julia Voth
- If you ever lock yourself out of the house or car, Jill can fix that
Cons:
- Umbrella would probably use you as the next Tyrant to get to Jill
- Extreme devotion to her job can lead to her not being around much
- Going against my rule earlier, I’ll add Chris Redfield, if he ever admits to being in love with Jill (yea you try taking him on – I think his forearm is the size of my thigh)
So that concludes my list. What? You expect me to pick the best from this amazing pool?! I can’t possibly do that. All of these women are wonderfully unique in their own way, with good and bad traits. Fair warning to cheaters–all my candidates are also quite skilled with either the use of firearms or in hand to hand combat. If you’re planning to double-time any of these women, you’d better watch your back!
